Ask Darshe

Anyway, if you want to have Darshe answer a question, submit one to the forums now!

This is a fun little section of the site where readers who have submit questions to Darshe can read his responses. Like Dear Abby, but with a lot more foul language and ego.  Questions may be submitted via the forums. You need to register to use the forums, and get all the other memberlicious benefits. Not many right now, BUT THAT WILL CHANGE!

Anyway, if you want to have Darshe answer a question, submit one to the forums now!

*Disclaimer (because seriously, anything Darshe is involved in needs one.)
This is intended for amusement purposes only. His advice is NOT really actual advice (like strongbad or something, not like.. from a real therapist), and is not ment to be taken seriously. Darshe is an ASSHOLE. If you submit, please be able to take a joke.

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Letter 1:

Darshe,

Hey there, my name is Trey, and I’m new to the site thanks to the man that hired me as his translator. The man is a dance obsessed lunatic with a knack for making giant robots that make things explode as well as going rogue and attacking every one and everything. So my question is this, I have concerns about my well being as a translator for this gentleman since the last translator had a rather nasty demise involving acorns. I’ve discussed this with my employer Mr. Sman, however he tells me it was just a freak accident. From what I’ve seen here I find that hard to be the case, what is your suggestion with how I should deal with what seems to be my impending doom?
Thanks for your time,
Trey

P.S. Mr. Sman told me to tell you that you have no true sense of skill since you are unable to develope an attack based off the pure life force energy of dance.

P.P. S. Please don’t kill me.

Response from Darshe:

Hey Trey.

Your employer sounds like a ghey twat. Seriously. Robots? What the hell is a robot? And if it explodes, well cool, but if you can’t control it, its fucking useless. Sounds like this guy is as baddass as as a pile of malignant asshairs. I don’t know why you even agreed to work for this sack of pigcrap.

If you fear for your life, get the fuck out. Or die or whatever. And as to his dancing crap, I wield the most powerful destructive force in the fucking universe. And I don’t have to look like a complete git to erase someone from the face of existence. He can take his ‘lord of the dance’ routine and shove it up his ass…with love.

Darshe

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Letter 2:

Darshe,

You knew it was coming; what exactly is a satanic, egotistical, conceited, helplessly blind by insanity, incredibly sexy guy like yourself looking for in the opposite sex? (Or you know….same sex…?) It’s just…I’ve known thousands of men that are much like yourself, and it continues to puzzle me how cool they can be around women.What exactly is it? Are none of these women strange enough for your tastes?  Not that I really care much……..because I don’t. Anyways, the question still stands; What kind of girls tickle your fancy?

Opal–just another curious fangirl.

Response from Darshe:

Heyyyy Opal,

Firstly, I’m not satanic. I’m demonic.. well half demonic. Satan’s a pussy anyway. But all the other stuff I can live with. Although I don’t think insanity makes you blind really, more like.. frees you to otherwise ‘socially unacceptable’ points of view. As to what I’m looking for in a hot sexy young luscious nubile bit of womanly awesomeness is… well pretty much like what I just said. A hot sexy bit of ass that’s ready to have some fun for a night.. and a day.. and possibly a few more nights and days. I tend to prefer bad girls, but corrupting nice sweet ‘good girls’ is a hellafun too. Really, I’m not too picky, although I’d never want to be tied down to just one. Too much work with too little payout. You seen those married saps? Fuck NO. Never going there. I’m more interested in fun times than long term drudgery. Although I’ve had a few women that stuck around, following me about in the past of their own choice, hoping to ‘win my heart’, or some such bullshit. The ones that were the most interesting were sexy, strong, independant, snappy dressers, kinky as hell, and down right badass in their own right. I tend to prefer the chasing, not being chased. (although I’ll fuck them too if they aren’t ugly assfaced women) So of course the hard-to-get ones were the absolute most fun. Each woman has her own unique charm though.

Darshe